You know that feeling when you just feel like killing someone, when you can't stand seeing or hearing him/her and you just feel like walking right up to that person and smash his head in. I feel like that. I know it's wrong and it's not like me to think that way, but right now I can't help it.  At least I would like to let him know how I feel, what a pathetic fuck he is. Apologize for the rough language, but I've got to express it in some way. He's the most insecure prick in the whole school and yet he's acting like he owns it. Actually, what I should do is feel sorry for his ugly ass, but he seriously needs to grow up. We've all got our issues, WORK IT OUT. Don't make me see the god damn idiocy. I'm walking around everyday building up more and more anger towards this guy, and other dumbasses at the school. I just feel like smacking you across the face you jerk! I'm so sick of my school and it's such a relief to know that two years of torture is almost over. Can you believe a school where almost 80 % of the students don't give a rats ass about their studies. They don't realize how lucky they are to be able to go to school, fucking ungrateful pricks. So many people around the world who would do ANYTHING to be where they are, and still they just waste it on sillyness. I would do anything to see those people trade places with the ones who wishes they could go to school and see them really struggling so that they realize how fucking lucky they are!
I need to find ways to calm down quickly or one day I'll just explode, and we don't want that to happen do we? It's time to take out the "self-help" books and gain calmness again. Any tips? I'll be more than willing to hear them!

Anyways, except for that little anecdote I have some good news - I got a job today in home help service (:, and it's right where I live. The summer is rescued, I can pay my bills!! AND I can save up more money for L.A. ! It's GREAT. I've got an appointment with a lady on Thursday so that we can go through when I can work. Finally I can take a breather and know that everything will be aaaaaall right.

Looking forward talking to my friend Sinai tonight. She's said she's going to call me when she's got a calling card and that she's got a whole lot to talk to me about. Mostly love problems I think. You know, sometimes it's pretty nice not to have someone in your life because you don't need to worry about those kind of things. But I guess the good things make up for the bad things, right? Otherwise it's not a healthy relationship. Believe me, I KNOW.

No, no, no. I've got to quit writing and start doing something useful. I had to cancel my coffe date with my dear Charlotte (who's here for a week from London) so that I can finnish my homework. History and business law. Yeey! Well I like history very much, much more so the later part of history, 1800 and forward. Right now we're covering the first world war and the depression and the so called "THE HAPPY 20'S".

Alright, gats to go (like the guys in the hood say). So long babes!


After checkin in on my mom yesterday (who's still got the flu) she sent me a text message. She said she's going to miss me terribly when I'm gone and that she's worried about me, getting in trouble. Then I realized that it hasn't really hit me yet, the fact that I am going to the the States for at least 2 years, ALL ALONE. But I'm a strong lady, I'm sure it'll be great. A lot of tears will be shed, but it will be worth it. GOD I'll miss my family ♥ ! I see them at least 4 times a week and now I might not see them for two years! We'll see what happens. I might be able to go back for a short trip after a year or so. Can't write anymore now, got to watch Svenska Hollywoodfruar ("Swedish Hollywoodwives")! It's hilarious, I love Maria, she's such a blonde! But she's got a big RED heart!


(Maria's the one on the right)


New design



It's not long now util I'm off to Cali. I was at my mom's house today to congratulate her on her 51st birthday. She's got the flu so I bought her a boquet of beautiful pink tulips and she was so happy. We looked at different insurances for my move, trying to figure out which one will be the best and the cheapest. She told me she will pay my Swedish insurance during the time I'll be away in the States so that's a real reliever, I love my mom, she always helps me out. Not economically I mean, I make sure that the bills are paid and that I can do this trip, that's how I've been raised, but she lends me money when I'm short (which doesn't happen often). Ever since I turned 18 I had to pay a certain amount each month when I was still living at home and I'm grateful that my mom don't pay my bills all the time, it teaches me to be economic.

You know, even though the internet is a real time-thief, it's real good sometimes, real good. After Michael Jackson died I became a member of the Heal the World Foundation and this girl contacted me. Her name was Sinai. We've been talking regularly through HTWF and FB ever since and we've grown closer and closer. There's still soo much more to find out about each other but I really love talking to her, she cheers me up and gives me advice. She lives in Miami and she's promised me to come visit me in LA, and who knows, maybe even I can come visit her in Miami. Hopefully. Today I found out that we want to be in the same business, SHOWBIZ. Do what you wanna do girlfriend, anything you want you can do it! I'll support you all the way, and you'll be my one of two friends in the whole of US when I get there. I'LL NEED YOU!

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